Once upon a time, Harvey Hamster received a letter from his cousin Ishmail from Syria. Harvey Hamster had not seen his cousin for a long time and was pleased to discover that Ishmail was going to visit.
Harvey decided to look nice and smart for Ishmail's arrival and so put on his nice clean suit and had his bedding changed. Then there was a knock on the Rotastak Space Station. It was Ishmail!
"Hey, Gringo,has anyone aron' here got a trumpet? I love to play that Tijuana soun'" said Ishmail. He was wearing a sombrero and had a pizza in his hands and a stupid-looking comedy nose on his face. He was a bit bigger than Harvey, too. So big was Ishmail, in fact, that they had to remove the roof before he would fit in the house at all!
"Would you like anything to eat?" Harvey politely asked. He had learned his manners from Brigadier Morris, a former sergeant in the S.A.S. Brigadier Morris was brave. He once killed twenty people at once and rescued ten ostriches from the Iranian Embassy Zoo.
"No, thank you kindly, gringo cousin Harvey" said Ishmail. "I have got a pizza here which I bought from Syria."
"Do they have pizzas in Syria? I thought they were from Italy." replied Harvey, suspiciously.
In fact, when Harvey looked his cousin up and down, he suspected all was not as it seemed. He certainly looked like a hamster, but some things didn't look right.
"Why are you covered in blood?" asked Harvey.
Ishmail looked rather uncomfortable. Then Harvey realised why. Ishmail had been disembowelled and someone had got inside his skin! Well fancy that!
"You aren't Ishmail, my cousin from Syria!" shrieked Harvey. "You are Doggie! What are you doing inside Ishmail?"
Doggie looked rather ashamed. He took off his big floppy sombrero, took off his amusing comedy nose and took off the hamster skin. "I am sorry," he told the sad hamster. "There was an accident."
"I was just bouncing around minding my own business picking flowers. All of a sudden, CRUNCH!
"I looked underneath my feet and saw I had accidentally squashed your cousin from Syria. I didn't want you to be upset so I decided to pretend to be him. I did some research in my civil engineering journals about what hamsters from Syria are like and then I bought a nice new sombrero, an amusing comedy nose and even bought a pizza. Then I wrapped myself up in his pelt."
Doggie looked upset that his cunning ruse was defeated by his not knowing anything about the Middle East and basically being a tool. Then the nice little hamster smiled sweetly and said "It is alright, Doggie. I don't mind. He was only foreign."
As a treat, Harvey took Doggie to London.
Here they met Anne Widdecome and Micheal Hesseltine who gave them lots of tips on hairdressing and buying helicopters...
.....Doggie became a freemason....
...and ended up being a democratic revolutionary in El Salvador fighting the CIA.